- Nicole Messner
THIS IS HER: MONICA
HER name is Monica and she first came to me for a boudoir session in December of 2020 at age 43 and again for a couples session in 2021 with her husband. She works as a dental hygienist and also owns a business as a sugar artist. She is a mom of three, a wife of 19 years, a fur mama to two French bulldogs, and she even has some pet shrimp. The days are nonstop from the moment she wakes up to her favorite moment - watching tv in bed at night with her husband. It's their quiet time together, though they are often accompanied by their two pups. Her and her husband got married after two and half months of 'dating', they went to Jamaica for her birthday and couldn't keep their hands off one another. After being asked several times if they were newlyweds, someone asked 'well do you want to get married?' Monica said it was the best $400 they've ever spent!
Monica loves to travel, spoil her kids and husband, spend time with her best friend, and she is very passionate about sculpted cakes. She describes herself as being all over the place - outgoing, shy, but definitely not the center of attention type. Her best friend describes her as hilarious, her husband says she's reserved with a spicy side, and she would say other people describe her as funny, confident, caring, and generous.
I asked Monica if she describes herself as a confident person... she said with certain things, but body image not being one of them. Monica grew up with weight being somewhat of an issue and something that was not dismissed by family. To this day she struggles and works to do what she can to be healthy and a positive influence to her children. She says she is most confident as a mom and wife.
Boudoir is something she 'NEVER thought I would do' but it would be a gift that her husband would never expect. She recalls that she was afraid of all of it - someone seeing her in a way that only her husband does, feeling vulnerable, looking like a cow in lingerie.
Monica describes feeling like a hot mess during her first session. I remember Monica coming in a little frazzled from a rough start to the day - trying to get makeup done without her husband knowing, coming up with an excuse to be away (we were in the midst of Covid and things weren't open so going to lunch wasn't a believable excuse at the time), and to top it off it starting raining on her way to me. But she made it. We worked through different ideas and outfits, I will never forget showing her the back of my camera to see some images and she started crying. She couldn't believe she was doing it or that it was her in the images.
She recalls that after seeing the pictures we capture during her first session she was 'in total shock that it was me in those pictures! Nicole captured a side of me I forgot existed. When I showed my husband the pictures I explained to him how I didn't even know I could look like that; he said that is how he always see me.'
I was in total shock that it was me in those pictures! Nicole captured a side of me I forgot existed.
Monica writes that we are all our own worst critics, so to see herself through his eyes will be something she is forever grateful for.
Following her individual boudoir session, Monica brought her husband in for a couples session. I remember her asking me about one and when she booked it, he was shocked. She said her husband didn't think she would follow through with it. Monica came in to their couples session feeling great and excited, she knew it would be amazing! We both saw the nerves in her husband as the entered but, in Monica's words, the session was 'ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!'
Her boudoir experiences helped her become a more confident person overall, but notably with her husband. Over a year after her first individual session, her husband still has one of the images as his phone wallpaper and after their couples session he couldn't keep his hands off her. Monica says that the couples session was a game changer for their marriage, bringing them closer as a couple in the bedroom and out. She even notes that before this experience she never wanted the lights on while they were enjoying one another, now every light in their house could be on for all she cares!
I asked Monica what lasting changes she has noticed from boudoir? She writes 'I would have to say I'm a more confident wife now more than anything else. Struggling with my weight on and off, pregnancies, etc always made me question if my husband found me attractive. There is no doubt in my mind now that I do it for him.'
If you're struggling with self confidence Monica would advise you to trust me (I can agree with that). She writes 'she is an amazing artist and sees your inner and outer beauty and is able to capture it.' You may feel some discomfort at first but Monica recalls feeling no judgement from me. 'She is absolutely professional during the whole shoot and goes out of her way to make you comfortable.' It may be scary but you won't regret it.
Monica's last bit of advice, as it was a factor for her and other friends she chatted with, is to not worry about any scars from child birth, surgeries, and so on. Don't let those stop you from the experience.
THIS IS HER: MONICA